You and Me
by LadyKakuHida
Summary: You just want to be left alone, for Tobi to just go to Deidara. You want to be the only one I talk to.


**Yet another one for the 100 challenge =.= But hey, it's inspiration, I ain't being picky. Zetsus' white side, along with a few interruptions from black Zetty, musing about well, life, really. It's an AU an, er, not much else to say really XD**  
**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto ^^**

**

* * *

**

You just want to be left alone, for Tobi to just go to Deidara. You want to be the only one I talk to. You say I ignore you now, how can I ignore you? You are me. It's hard to ignore you anyway with your constant bitching; you're very neurotic you know that? Well I suppose it'd make sense, you are the black side, the 'evil' side. You're bound to get all the bad traits. I must piss you off to no end, being so good. Well good compared to you, anyway. To most normal people I'm still pretty fucked up. That's what I've been told anyway, though I must say it was highly uncalled for. Though Tobi sorted him out, in his own way. He'd never actually hit anyone, he's a good boy. And don't give me that look, you agree with me. Don't deny it, my head is your head, I see everything you think!

Anyway it was quite funny. To see him start ranting, before that I didn't know he had it in him to be mean to anyone. I can remember you were quite proud of him, what was it you said? 'Tobi's a badass boy' or something along those lines. Cheesy but cute, in a strange way. We get that a lot. The strange part that is, strange glances, strange... 'interests', strange friends…but we love them. Alright I love them, you tolerate them. Which is your version of love you grumpy sod.

Honestly I don't know why I put up with you sometimes. What was that? Because you are me? Well the special pills in the bathroom can fix that. But I won't. It'd be lonely without you, even with Tobi. I wonder what he's doing? He's been acting very odd lately, even for him. And this is the boy who staved off sleep and hunger for 5 days just to get an achievement. Numerous times. You can imagine how oddly one would have to act to arouse suspicion after something like that.

He keeps staring off into space with a dreamy look on his face, usually in Deidara's direction. I can't see them together; I can't see Tobi with anyone. I don't like it when Tobi's with anyone. I don't even know why, I just get pissed whenever I see him talking to people I – ok, we – don't know. It's probably because he's one of the only three friends I've ever made on my own (Pein and Konan were the first). Yeah, that's it. I can't really remember how we met. He just sort of…appeared and stuck to me, like a leech. But an adorable leech. Wait, where did that come from?

He is cute though, especially his eyes. They're mischievous and lively and innocent and so…Tobi. What am I saying? I'm talking about his eyes, why am I? I'm straight. At least I think I am. Of- of course I am, I like Konan, don't I? She's a girl, she has… lady parts. Tobi equals penis. And now you're imagining it. That means I'm imagining it. Thanks. Thanks a lot. No, don't you dare go any further! I swear to god if you take this horrifically disturbing mental image any further I will medicate your ass away! Yeah, that's what I thought.

Seriously though, he has been weird lately. He keeps giggling to himself. Which, for Tobi is actually normal, except it's more when we talk to him now. He tends to go a bit red as well, maybe he has a fever? I hope he's gonna be alright. He should be, it's amazing what that kid can take. Deidara, his bullies, my bullies, being related to Itachi and his little freak of a brother, Deidara… If nothing else you have to respect the kid. Because he is still a kid, he's only like fifteen or something.

Despite popular belief he isn't a retard; he's a genius. He just isn't the most conventional of geniuses. His future in game design is pretty much assured so he doesn't really have to do anything in school. All those magical, mystical, what I suspect to be illicit Uchiha connections. Really he doesn't even need to come to school. I asked him why he bothered once and he said he was in it for the friends, which I admit I 'aww'ed at. I never said you did; stop interrupting my train of thought.

I hope he and Deidara are happy together, though honestly I doubt it. Deidaras too violent and bitchy and hormonal to handle Tobi's…Tobi-ness. And there's the whole Sasori thing. Actually feel kinda bad for the little geek, having to watch the one he loves lust after another. If indeed that is the case, I could be completely wrong and he was just zoning out in the wrong direction. Deidara does tend to sit next to Hidan and Sasori. Or rather, he sits to nuzzle Sasori and Hidan moves inbetween them to irritate as many people as possible. Then they shove him over to me after he's had his coffee. Why do they all assume I can handle the hyper annoying ones?

Ah well. I suppose there's not much I can do about the whole Konan situation either now that I think about it. She wouldn't want me anyway, she has Pein. Why would she want some crazy, nerdy fre- No! I will not start thinking like that again! Come on, I've gotten over that now; I promised Tobi I'd stop talking like that. I don't wanna see that look on his face again. That heartbroken look. I'm not sure why he gets so worked up about it but it is sweet. He's sweet. Hm. I'm hungry. No, eating Oreos would not make us a cannibal, as awesome as that would be. We've been through this.

* * *

**Silly Zetsu. Doesn't know he's madly, deeply in love XD. I know I said I didn't wanna like, spam the front page type thing but it's annoying me not having them all up *Is anal retentive***


End file.
